


Ficlets 2016

by rea_p



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Broadway, Brunch, Fluff, Gen, Humor, deaf west theatre is amazing, my plot bunnies are fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-09 01:14:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7781197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rea_p/pseuds/rea_p
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fics originally posted elsewhere (coughtumblrcough). Mostly fluff, crack, or slice of life. Generally half-baked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Neon Lights are Bright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team bonding, Broadway style.

It had been a long week. No, actually, it had been a long month, and Clint was tired. He sat on the sofa in the common area and ignored everyone, his hearing aids on the coffee table by his feet.

Nat got his attention by sitting next to him and turning his face to hers.

“Put on real clothes” she said, as though his ratty sweats did not count as ‘real,’ “Tony’s taking the team to the theatre.”

“Hamilton?” he asked, because he’d actually heard some of those songs and besides who hadn’t about that show?

She shook her head. “Don’t tell me even Tony can’t get tickets!” he said, and she grinned.

“That’s next week, apparently. Leslie Odom Jr. is on vacation this week.” as if that explained. “Clothes. Lobby. 10 minutes.” And with a raised eyebrow, she left.

-

Clint hadn’t heard of the show they were seeing, and didn’t bother looking at the program or anything. He wasn’t really sure he was in the mood to be doing a ‘team bonding outing’, even on Broadway. Sure, he caught the name of the company - Deaf West Theatre - but only just as the lights went down

In the first ten minutes, Clint wasn’t sure whether he was pissed off at Tony for taking them to a show with ASL, assuming that Tony meant it as a sort of “be nice to the sometimes-deaf guy.” After the first half hour, he didn’t care. 

At intermission he read the entire program, the bios of all the cast and crew, and everything he could find about the show on his smartphone. 

Because Tony was Tony, they got to hang around after the show was over and meet the cast. They swapped autographs - the cast signed the Avengers’ programs (Steve was particularly persistent, even getting the stage manager’s) and the Avengers signed anything that was handed at them. Clint got into a long conversation with one of the cast members that ended four hours later at a bar, with a promise that he’d see if Tony could snag extra tickets to Hamilton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame this fic on the fact that I’ve become re-hooked on Big River, nostalgic for the 2004 production by Deaf West, and loved the performance by the revival cast of Spring Awakening at this year’s Tonys.


	2. In the Kitchen with Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I watch too many cooking shows? And read too many cooking blogs?

The guest/not-exactly-a-prisoner-but-maybe? was standing in the middle of the kitchen, holding a knife.

To be more accurate, they were dicing vegetables, with a pot of water boiling on the stove nearby, and the number of prep dishes on the counter was a little alarming.

Steve cleared his throat and took a few steps toward the counter, keeping an eye on the paring knife. When this was only met with a nod, he said “So, you’re cooking…?”

The reply was delayed for one final garlic clove to be neatly minced, and then the guest spoke. “Yeah. It seemed like a good idea.” At Steve’s blank look, they continued, “I mean, I can’t leave until they” - the hand wave indicated the sky and presumably the Nine Realms - “make up their minds, I can’t just stay in one room all day, it’s worse than watching paint dry. And you have this well appointed, restaurant-quality kitchen which no one seemed to be using - given that you’re off saving the world and sometimes the multiverse on a regular basis, fair, but it seemed a waste.”

Thinking about the number of pizzas in the freezer and take-out menus in the top left-hand drawer near the sink, Steven nodded. “Okay, but… you can cook? I mean,” he hesitated. “Earth food.”

Stone grey eyes, with those unsettlingly dark pupils, met his, full of laughter. “Yes. I mean, I told you my people never actually left Midgard alone, whatever the All-Father might think, and I’ve spent enough time traveling around to pick up a few things. Besides, I know the basics of cooking regardless of the realm, and the internet is full of amazing recipes. JARVIS and I talked about, and he agreed to help me pick out menus and order all of the groceries - apparently they’ll deliver to the tower, so I don’t even have to leave the building.” They paused in the act of reaching for an onion. “No one objects to seafood, do they? JARVIS said no one had a shellfish allergy on record, and that past takeout orders had included seafood dishes” (this in a fairly good imitation of the AI’s cadence) “but if anyone thinks it’s gross or just generally dislikes it I should probably stop before I really get started.”

Steve looked at the assembled ingredients. “What are you making?”

“Pallella,” they said with a huge grin, the kind people have just before they get on a roller coaster.

Nodding, Steve replied “No one minds a little sea food so far as I know. Need a hand.”

“Not with the cooking,” they replied, cutting into the onion, “but feel free to pull up a stool and chat.”

So Steve did.


	3. Brunch is an Important Meal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone tries to interrupt Darcy, Jane, and friends at brunch

Darcy and Maya were alternately raving about the latest Ghostbusters and the waffles, and Jane was making faces at Grace (age 14 months) when a voice demanded “No one move.”

Sure enough, there was a guy wearing a mask, holding a gun, with a Brute Squad reject looming to one side. The gun was pointed at Jane.

Rose shifted in her chair to put herself squarely between baby and gunman and said, in her most professorial voice “Excuse me? Just _what_ do you think you are doing?”

This was not the response the villain was expecting. He frowned. “I’m here to kidnap Jane Foster. Don’t move and you won’t be harmed.”

Unimpressed, Rose spoke over his last few words. “And you couldn’t wait until we finished brunch? We only get to see Jane a few times a year, not to mention we have a baby with us. What the hell were you thinking? Pointing a gun a a baby.”

Jane frowned slightly, “Rose…” and the villain shifted uncomfortably. “I, um, I supposed I could have waited…”

And then he went down with a squawk and a jerk. Darcy handed the first taser off to Maya and pointed the second smoothly at the Brute Squad wannabe. “SHEILD’s on the way,” she told him. 

He sighed. “I did not get paid enough for this.”

“Eh, flag down our server on your way out and tell him we need another pitcher of mimosas” said Misha, bouncing Grace on his lap.

The goon nodded. “Sure thing. Thanks. Cute kid,” and he headed out.

Jane looked at her college friends and laughed. “Brunch is sacred,” intoned Darcy, and Maya nodded agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am roughly the same age as Natalie Portman, and sometimes enjoy imagining what Jane Foster's college (undergrad and/or grad school) friends think of her experimental physics and alien boyfriend. Apparently, they learn to use tasers and come up with contingency plans in case of attempted kidnappings during brunch.
> 
> Seriously. Who interrupts /brunch/?


	4. How Stomach Flu Saved the Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Norovirus, or something, and pinkeye, and the consequences of public health on the Hyrda uprising.

The distribution of Hydra through the various SHIELD bases wasn’t even - there were higher concentrations at more strategically important points, obviously. And the facility in Ohio wasn’t exactly key, but it wasn’t insignificant either. It was mostly analysts, and some training facilities, a branch of the archives devoted to analysis of international diplomatic activities between 1955 and 1972, and SHIELD’s copies of the NARA records from St. Louis that caused debates over whether they should be shared (NARA didn’t know that SHIELD had a copy).

Late March, 2014, was not a great time for the public health of that particular county in Ohio. Strep throat was making its way through one of the elementary schools, while another was trying to contain a sudden epidemic of pinkeye. On top of everything, someone brought stomach flu to the SHIELD daycare center (not on site, obviously, but it was the one everyone who had kids used). 

So when things went down, when Hydra realized its cover was blown and started shooting… well, the facility was operating with maybe half its usual employees. Most people were either home sick, home taking care of a sick child, or taking comp or vacation time to avoid getting sick.

A few very dedicated HYDRA idiots (both in their twenties) went into work anyway, to take part, despite feeling sick. This was poor thinking on their part. Hydra Agent Matthias was subdued by his former colleagues, Agent Nguyen and Chaya, when he started puking while trying to intimidate them. 

In the aftermath, the remaining SHIELD agents found some unexpected informants in their former colleagues who were listed as probable Hydra operatives. Former Agents Rodas and Mayhew were threatened by their Hydra superiors for not participating - both Agents had stayed home. As Mayhew put it “My daughter [nine years old - ed] had strep and a fever of 102. I couldn’t send her to school and there was no way on earth I was going to leave her home alone! If her fever had gotten any higher, we would have gone to the ER!” Rodas had twenty month old twins, one of whom was just recovering from the stomach flu and the other in the midst of it, and her husband was out of town. “If you's sent a babysitter, maybe I’d have joined in,” she reportedly said to her Hydra handler, just before she shot him in the knee. Both former Agents/Hydra operatives turned informant in exchange for leniency and SHIELD college scholarships for their children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when you work at an educational facility (annual norovirus outbreaks), with people who have kids in daycare. Germs, germs everywhere.


End file.
